Dark Humour

Below, some black political comments. Not necessarily true or even the opinion of the author.

Obama failed to lie and presented an honest budget. The US government will run a $1,750bn fiscal deficit this year. Equivalent to 12.3 per cent of gross domestic product, the biggest yearly deficit since the second world war.

  • US deficit first year: 1.75 trillion, second year: 1.75 trillion, third year: 1.3 trillion, fourth year: 550 billion.

    (We need money now but they're on to US. Let's borrow while we still can and push the deficit from the last year to the first three years and pray nobody notices)

  • The US will enforce a cap on carbon dioxide emissions.

    (We won't have enough money to pay for oil in the future.)

  • The plan reserves a whopping 634 billion dollars over 10 years to finance reforms to make health coverage affordable.

    (Damned, we screwed up! We didn't save enough money to take care of our elderly.)

  • Money will be pored into education.

    (Fuck, all our PhDs are Asian or moving there! Unless we develop some intellect of our own, we'll never run a trade surplus.)

  • The rich will be taxed more, the poor less.

    (Big red flag. If it freezes in hell then the US must be in a really, really, really tight spot.)

  • The US could funnel up to $750 billion in fresh government aid to their battered banks. Some banks may be nationalized.

    (Hey! The Chinese have four state owned banks which just own the economy. Why didn't we think of that?)

  • Most US Troops will be out of Iraq by August 31, 2010.

    (We threw our ethnic minorities into a desert but the simple harsh bastards ignore the possibility to die.)

  • US spending on defence will be up 4%.

    (If the Asians start borrowing money to other nations and want their money back, we'd better have a strong arm.)

Meanwhile, teethless Europe is poring money into the IMF, nationalizing, and counting their left money. They also warn the Chinese that surplus countries have the most to lose in a recession.

(Blimey, the US robbed us, our manufacturing is now placed in Asia, and the Liberians are now asking the Chinese for money! Better poor money into the IMF before they get out of our strong-hold. Why are these Chinese laughing at us?)

The biggest joke: Given circumstances, Obama is doing a good job.