How to Win Friends and Influence People

The 1937 classic self-help book by Dale Carnegie. You can find the ebook now for free on the net, if you look hard enough.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:

  • "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."

  • "Give people a feeling of importance; praise the good parts of them."

  • "Get the other person to do what you want them to by arousing their desires."

Six Ways to Make People Like You:

  1. "Become genuinely interested in other people."

  2. "Smile."

  3. "Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

  4. "Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves."

  5. "Talk in the terms of the other man's interest."

  6. "Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely."

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

  1. "Avoid arguments."

  2. "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong."

  3. "If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."

  4. "Begin in a friendly way."

  5. "Start with questions the other person will answer yes to."

  6. "Let the other person do the talking."

  7. "Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers."

  8. "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view."

  9. "Sympathize with the other person."

  10. "Appeal to noble motives."

  11. "Dramatize your ideas."

  12. "Throw down a challenge."

Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:

  1. "Begin with praise and honest appreciation."

  2. "Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly."

  3. "Talk about your own mistakes first."

  4. "Ask questions instead of giving direct orders."

  5. "Let the other person save face."

  6. "Praise every improvement."

  7. "Give them a fine reputation to live up to."

  8. "Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct."

  9. "Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest."

At first thought I would think it was unethical. But the tips just sound like totally normal behavior to me...